Follow or Face My Wrath

Saturday, March 23, 2013

Server Manifesto

[Repost From "Cook Like A Bachelor, Eat Like A King"]
I was born and raised in the Kansas City area, but relocated to Los Angeles a couple years ago.  I have always been in love with food; my mother is Greek so food was always central to our family activities.  My father is Irish, so fine booze has always been a part of my life as well.  Growing up as I did it is perhaps not unfathomable that I would eventually end up in the food and beverage business, where I have been the bulk of the last decade.  I received a BA in Philosophy from KU, so what else was I gonna do?  Teach? Seriously.
For those at the top of their game, at the peak of their career, the F&B biz is an amazing opportunity to express creativity and enrich people's lives.  But once that trickles down to the front-line employee, it's pure horse shit.  That's where I spent most of my 20's: on the front lines.
I've bartended, barbacked, cocktailed, waited tables and worked the door at a handful of different bars and restaurants.  I spent 2 years as a supervisor/manager at a private golf club, doing inventory, making orders, serving food and drink, setting up, working and tearing down banquets. I've had my hand in virtually every part of the front-of-the-house operations of a variety of places.  Most recently I have been working at one of the busiest and highest regarded convention hotels in the United States, set against the backdrop of one of the most vibrant and active entertainment districts in the world.
Know what?  It all SUCKS.  Sure, the money can be good.  I mean, really good, if you bust your ass.  But what for?  When you take a step back from your life, you see that the F&B biz takes a passion that most people lack because it just takes too much freakin' time.  To make serious money, or to gain serious status you have to be willing to put in 60+ hours a week and work at all hours of the day, 7 days a week.  To a person who enjoys having a little structure to their life, it's a total nightmare.  The result, for me at least, was a full bank account, but nothing to spend it on except rent and basic survival.  Every minute I wasn't working was spent trying to decompress from or gear up for work.  My whole life revolved around it, and that's grand if it's something you love.
Most people would agree that bartending or waiting tables are stopgap jobs.  It's not the glamorous career it may have once been.  It's something people do while they're waiting to do something else, be it advance in the F&B world, finish a college degree or land that big break as an actress.  The people who do it because its what they want to do are few & far between.  In fact, in 11 years in F&B, I've met exactly one.
At any rate, it takes a lot out of you and when you're stuck there without some sort of end-game in mind, it can wreak havoc on your personality.  Everyone fears the server who will spit in your food if you do something that irks him.  Why is the server this way?  Why do such insignificant things make him angry enough to attempt to clandestinely harm another person?  After years of combating these urges in my self, I have come to this conclusion: as a server or bartender, you see people exclusively on their WORST behavior.  If you met under different circumstances, you might be best pals with the jerk off who orders a mocha latte in the cocktail lounge at 11:45PM , but as their server, you have positioned yourself beneath them and they indulge themselves by treating you as such.  When you truly bust your hump and work hard to please people and still find them looking down their noses at you, it's not hard to form a bad attitude about people.  When you have 100 people in a row ask for the same stupid or inconvenient thing, its hard to remember that they aren't doing it to piss you off.  After years of this, a server may wake up one day & find he isn't the person he used to be and the new person isn't very likable.
So what is there to do?  Either you need to get to that next step fast, or it's time to quit.  Myself, I chose the latter.  I am elated to be emancipated from the chains of the service industry, but I am left with a lingering passion for fine food & drink, and a lasting respect for those tempered souls who soldier on, swallowing their irritation & making the business happen.
So when you go out, tip your EFFING server.  You only see about 10% of their struggle. And try very hard not to be an asshole.
AHEM.

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